Whilst you’re waiting!

As I said in my last post, I was going to share some things I have done and still do to cope with my anxiety and depression.

I wanted to do this post because when I reached out to my doctor, it was a long process. I was given websites, names of nearby counselling services, numbers to ring and a lot of different routes I could approach in terms of getting help.

Which is great but once you venture into these different routes, unfortunately there are super long waiting lists on most, if not all of the services I inquired about honestly.

Which yes, can be super draining especially when you’re in a negative headspace already. You can feel a bit stuck, you’ve got the ball rolling but now you’re left waiting months for your first counselling or therapy session. Unless you go private but my pockets aren’t that deep so! 

During this time however, I decided I wasn’t just going to ‘wait’ and I asked myself an important question.

 “What can I do to begin healing and what positive steps and changes can I make to help myself in this moment.”

That question helped me acknowledge one thing. Whatever route I ventured down and whoever I was too see, whether it be a counsellor or therapist – they are not going to do ALL of the work. They are not solely going to ‘fix’ me. So you shouldn’t be under that illusion either.

Because for starters, we’re humans, all very complex ones at that, not robots. We don’t get ‘fixed’. Whatever is going on is coming from inside you. And no therapist, counsellor or person on this earth knows you better than you know yourself.

My point being, healing starts with you, therapy and counselling are tools you can use but don’t be under the guise you can sit back and let them do the work.

You want to heal and move forward? Be ready to work very very hard. Acknowledge things you’ve experienced, be accountable for yourself and your choices and understand you do have the power to change and create the life you desire. 

I should look into becoming some sort of empowering speaker right?!

That being said, let’s get into more of the things and realisations that helped me.

  • Don’t do it alone. Simply because, you don’t have too. Feelings of anxiety and depression can be extremely difficult to manage so get yourself a supportive outlet, whether it be friends or family or via services such as the Samaritans. Don’t trick yourself into believing you’re alone. There is always someone out there for you. It may not be who you want it to be but use what and who you have access too.

Now, you may find it hard to convey exactly how you’re feeling to others but be clear with what you want, let them know what you feel will be positive for you in that moment. If you want advice, ask for it. If you just want someone to listen to you, let them know and if you just want a hug, bloody ask for it. I give hugs out like there is no tomorrow, if you need one, come get one. Wink wink to any hotties that are reading!

Ultimately the more you use your support lines, the more you reinforce the understanding that you’re not actually alone.

My next tip.

  • Be gentle with yourself. We wouldn’t speak to another person the way we speak to ourselves half the time. Be nice to yourself! You’ll make mistakes, you’ll have bad days, you’ll have good days but just make sure to acknowledge that you’re human. And you’re working to do what’s best for you, more importantly. That ain’t an easy task so give yourself credit.

I remember days I felt I had too write things down that I liked about myself, or positive moves I made during the day. Just to reinforce a positive view on myself!

Talking of writing, that brings me to the next thing that helped me immensely.

  • Writing! Get a journal and write, write, write. My journal is full of all sorts. Good stuff, bad stuff, out of this world stuff and even a few drawings. Whatever was coming out, I let it. You can sometimes be able to clear a lot of the mental clutter you have via writing. It is just another outlet after all. Just allowing whatever is in your mind to be taken out and out onto paper can help drastically.
  • It also helped me to set achievable goals, write down plans or things I wanted to do for myself. Ticking things like that off feels amazing and boosts your confidence in your own capabilities as well as allowing you to see the progress you make.

Now my next pointer, can seem like a big task but I never said this was easy so.

  • Say goodbye to the toxic relationships you have in your life. What is around you, has impact on you. Let me make something clear too, it can be family, friends, lovers, or even things like jobs or where you live.

If you know it isn’t a healthy entity in your life, move on. You may think, well I’m not sure what is healthy and what’s not. My response to you? Think harder. You will know exactly what and who is right for you and what/who isn’t.

Don’t feel guilty either. We are on this earth, in this body for a limited time. So do what you have to do. Just keep your moral compass in check, of course. Don’t be robbing a bank and then pointing to this blog saying “he said do what I have to do!”

I only want good press, thank you!

Anyway, you may have just read that point and be thinking that you don’t have the strength or energy to be working to change so much in your life. Being harsh, would you have ended up in the headspace you are now if you prioritised keeping only the relationships, things and places that were a positive for you? We both know the answer, right!

I can appreciate sometimes life isn’t that simple so dipping back to what I said earlier. Continue to be kind to yourself, you may realise you haven’t been treating yourself how you should’ve been during this time or in the past but all you can do is learn from it and appreciate that you are now taking steps to prioritise your own headspace and healing. Onwards and upwards, baby!

I’m going to make this my last point. Because there is a lot of information on this page here!

  • Detach and find peace! One of the more important pointers. For me I began meditating. It’s helped me more than I can say in all honesty but it’s not for everyone, we’re all different. For you it could be running, reading or even knitting, I don’t know. Just find something you can use to find peace and detach from your busy busy headspace for awhile! Failing to have down time may cause your head to just explode. And you can’t live your best life without your head can you?

I think this point is so important as many of our fears or anxieties don’t stem from the present moment. They come from thinking about the past or future. Half the time we get so wrapped up in them we blind ourselves from acknowledging that where we are are right now is the only time that exists. The past has been and gone and the future has not happened yet. So find peace in the present! Powerful stuff, right? 

These are all things that I have done/still do to keep myself grounded. I also want to say, incase nobody has said it to you yet. I happen to say this to myself a lot however. Well done, you’re truly spectacular. Keep going, keep pushing and keep crafting the life you desire. Just remember to appreciate where you are at now too, whether it’s a place you feel good or a place you want to improve on, everything we experience goes into making us who we are.

Hope you enjoyed and remember to stay authentic! Oh and a quick update on the flat me and my friend were viewing was taken off the market! So we are still on the hunt for a place to live!

And I could do with finding myself a job pronto! I’m hoping to live in the Stockport area so, if anyone knows anyone, let me know!

Thanks again for reading!

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